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THE GREAT LIQUIDATION

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THE GREAT LIQUIDATION By: Lauren Anderson Spring is my favorite time of year. Seriously. Say what you will about the delight of living in a place with a warm and predictable climate-- I don't begrudge anyone their joy. Especially those people out there who hate hate hate being cold. But that's not me. If given the choice, I want four seasons. Give me the abundance of summer, the nostalgia...


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"BE NOT AFRAID OF GOING SLOWLY"

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“BE NOT AFRAID OF GOING SLOWLY...” By: Lauren Anderson I woke up groggy this morning. Not sure why, but I was. As I lumbered out of bed into upright standing position, I stood there for a sec, wiping my face and not moving. Then the voice in my head started. “C'mon Anderson, let's go.” I've written about the voice in my head many times before, and thankfully this morning...


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GRABBING MY BUTT IN THE PARKING LOT

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GRABBING MY BUTT IN THE PARKING LOT By: Lauren Anderson Have I got your attention? Good. Except now that you're here I have to tell you... this isn't some story about a creep in a parking lot who grabbed my butt. Thank God. I am so grateful that's not the scenario today. Yes yes. No creep to be found. Because in the case of this parking-lot butt-grab? THE CREEP IS...


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HABITS AND CARPET LUMPS

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HABITS AND CARPET LUMPS By: Lauren Anderson A few months ago I got a new mattress. My sister and her girlfriend were champions and helped me move it into my apartment--because they're heroes like that. And just as we were snapping the blankets into military precision, (My sister was in the Air Force and I swear, the way she makes a bed is a thing of beauty.)...


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ALLEGORICAL GRAPEFRUIT

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ALLEGORICAL GRAPEFRUIT By: Lauren Anderson When I first started working out at Solcana, I did a food challenge to reset the inflammation in my body. If you've been following this blog from the jump, you probably remember a pretty steep learning curve. I learned so much about food, and nutrition, and even how to cook! I learned the great effect sugars had on my body. I don't think...


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FORBIDDEN LOVE (a love letter to my body)

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FORBIDDEN LOVE (A Love Letter To My Body) By: Lauren Anderson Dearest Body, I know it's been a while since we've spoken like this my love, but what better time to rekindle the flame than on St. Valentine's Day? Alas, life has kept me from spending more time with you than I wish. But fear not ma cherie, for my affection for you is stronger than ever. It...


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A CHANGE IN DENSITY

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A CHANGE IN DENSITY By: Lauren Anderson About a week ago, it occurred to me that it had been 3 months since I'd seen one of my closest friends. Months! How does that happen? Well I s'pose, life, school, work, being and adult, etc etc. All that boring stuff that gets in the way of having fun... sigh. After a few texts and some calendar checks, we managed...


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TAKING THE TIME IT TAKES

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TAKING THE TIME IT TAKES By: Lauren Anderson   When my grandpa and grandma passed away, I inherited all their watches. My grandparents were dapper to be sure, but also modest. These watches effectively had no value, but to me, they were priceless. Shortly after I acquired these treasures, I decided to have a fashion moment and wear them all on one wrist on one day. The effect was...


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IT'S THE CLIMB

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IT'S THE CLIMB By: Lauren Anderson For the past few days, I keep catching myself humming an old Miley Cyrus song from 2009. I know! I'm as surprised as you are. Cause honestly, I didn't even know that I had those lyrics rattling around in my head. I've never bought an album. But some stars are just ubiquitous I s'pose. I won't keep you guessing either--there's no big song...


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SOFT POTATO OR A HARD EGG

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SOFT POTATO OR A HARD EGG By: Lauren Anderson The summer between 3rd and 4th grade I signed up to do a weeklong dance camp with the Parkettes. The Parkettes were the high school dance team and I thought they were EVERYTHING. I was so excited. Not only would I get to learn real life dance moves from real life dancers, but I would also get a tee...


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COME AS YOU ARE

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COME AS YOU ARE By: Lauren Anderson When I was getting dressed on New Year's Eve night, I had some things to consider. I had a show to do that night, so I knew I had to be able to do improv in whatever I chose to wear. And then later on that night I would be going to a house party with a small (albeit wonderful) group...


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"ACTION IS THE ANTIDOTE TO DESPAIR"

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“ACTION IS THE ANTIDOTE TO DESPAIR” By: Lauren Anderson I was recently helping a dear friend move out of their house. The reason for the move was because of a divorce which resulted in a series of huge life changes. Luckily my friend had enlisted quite a few other friends to help, so we able to adopt the very efficient “BUCKET BRIGADE” system! It was genius, because everyone was...


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THE CALMING NEON ORANGE ROPE

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THE CALMING NEON ORANGE ROPE By: Lauren Anderson When I was little, my parents brought us to Paul Bunyan Land in Northern Minnesota. We rode rides and watched dancing chickens and got our pictures taken with Paul Bunyan and Babe the Big Blue Ox. Pretty much having the greatest time a kid could have at a kitschy Minnesotan theme park. And just when I thought the day couldn't...


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SCREAMING FOR ICE IN MY VEINS

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SCREAMING FOR ICE IN MY VEINS By: Lauren Anderson There's this line in Paul Simon's song “You Can Call Me Al” that has always really resonated with me. The iconic 80's pop classic starts out with Paul Simon almost pleading to the universe: “Why am I soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?” Not only do I love the song and what it...


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THANK YOU AND SHUT UP ABOUT MY FOOD

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THANK YOU AND SHUT UP ABOUT MY FOOD By: Lauren Anderson HOMECOMING Thanksgiving is two days away, which means all my out-of-town friends are rolling back in. I love this time of year for that reason! But before they get swallowed up in the family and the holidays, I like to squeak out a little friend time first if I can. I get a text from my dear...


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REMOVING THE WORD 'JUST'

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REMOVING THE WORD “JUST” By: Lauren Anderson The other day, I was at my good friend Ann's house hanging out and having a wonderful Sunday. I had a text I needed to reply to, and I wanted my response to sound good, so I showed her the draft before I hit send. You know, like you do sometimes with friends. Most of the time I pride myself on...


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SUPER VISION REQUIRED

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SUPER VISION REQUIRED By: Lauren Anderson A few years ago, I was staying at a nice hotel while on a business trip. I had a few hours to kill before our clients needed us to be in the ballroom to get the kick off party started, so I decided to walk around the campus of the luxury Florida hotel. I like to get the lay of the land you...


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NIGHTMARE ON MY STREET

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NIGHTMARE ON MY STREET By: Lauren Anderson Forgive me if I sound a little different today, but my entire reality has been altered, and I don't know what's what anymore. You know, no bigs. Also, I miiiight sound different because I just had 1,000 birds of prey fly outta my mouth. Oop! And almost forgot! I've been running for my life down dark alleyways for the past three nights. “What's...


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TOO MUCH VERSUS NOT ENOUGH

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TOO MUCH VERSUS NOT ENOUGH By: Lauren Anderson About a month or so ago I was at the gym, and we were working on back squats. I don't know if it was the day or what, but it was one of those workouts where I was just happy I made it there at all. I found myself really taking it kinda easy. It felt good to be there...


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YOU CAN'T RUSH A BUTTERFLY OR A BEAUTIFUL DEATH

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YOU CAN'T RUSH A BUTTERFLY OR A BEAUTIFUL DEATH By: Lauren Anderson Last week my grandmother passed away. And yesterday was her funeral. The day was as hard as you can imagine, but then the sun came out. And I couldn't help but think, “This is a beautiful day. Grandma would've liked this.” The family was sad, and we will miss her dearly, but it also felt so...


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DRY RICE ON THE FLOOR

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DRY RICE ON THE FLOOR By: Lauren Anderson My older sister is an excellent driver. She was that classic teenager that went and took her driving test on her 16th birthday and passed on the first try. And it didn't take long before she had her own car, much to our mom's trepidation. There was no, “Can I borrow the car?” from my sister. Oh no no. Besides, my...


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IF YOU'RE FEELING NERVOUS

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IF YOU'RE FEELING NERVOUS By: Lauren Anderson Two days ago I woke up with a mouth full of blood. Do I have your attention? If I ever write a mystery novel... I'm yoinking that line from this blog and using it again! Yup. My alarm went off at the same respectable time it always does for a person that works mostly at night-- and when I turned over to put...


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CHANGE HIT ME LIKE A MACRO TRUCK

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CHANGE HIT ME LIKE A MACRO TRUCK By: Lauren Anderson Lately I've been feeling stuck. Stagnant. Wanting that extra something to happen or occur or manifest. Ya know? I think the beginning of fall is always ripe for feelings like this. It's a transitional season, much like spring, so inevitably it also feels like the perfect time for something to CHANGE. Because the weather is, so I might...


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CROWN ON THE GROUND

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CROWN ON THE GROUND By: Lauren Anderson Yesterday I was eating lunch and reading an article that came out in an old New Yorker about Tiffany Haddish, when I heard a CRACK, and out plopped the crown of my tooth silently onto the floor. Just like that. I wasn't even eating anything crazy either. Just some leftover Lo Mien from the night before. Ya know, like you you do...


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MULCH MUSCLE

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MULCH MUSCLE By: Lauren Anderson Labor Day weekend for me is a time to hang out and have a good time, but I always like to throw in a little bit of “work” for balance. I mean, if nothing else it is my small way of honoring all the labor workers that make the world go round. But let's not get too far up my own butt here....


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HELLO FEAR, I LIVE HERE NOW

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HELLO FEAR, I LIVE HERE NOW By: Lauren Anderson In my group of friends, I am rather notorious for asking “What if” questions. Like, “What if every time you walked up the stairs a part of your body turned purple? But only for 24 hours.” Or “What if when you peeled back the skin on my arm, you found out I was made entirely of Rice Crispy treats?”...


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BIG, EASY, UNLIKELY INSPIRATION

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BIG, EASY, UNLIKELY INSPIRATION By: Lauren Anderson Inspiration can come from the most unlikely places. I've even got an embarrassing example for you. This weekend I was undone by a terrible case of food poisoning. It was...unfortunate. Luckily I made it through the worst, but Sunday left me recovering and trying to keep crackers down. I kept falling in and out of sleep all day, exhausted from dehydration...


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ICE BATH FOR THE SOUL

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ICE BATH FOR THE SOUL. By: Lauren Anderson   It's no surprise that I run hot. I know I've probably talked about it like, a bajillion times. But I'm not kidding. Just under my skin, I feel like the inside of a dragon's mouth. Roiling and turning, panting and churning, just waiting for the next fire to erupt. Which is not to say that I'm always angry or upset, or...


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A LETTER TO FRENCH FRIES

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A LETTER TO FRENCH FRIES By: Lauren Anderson The last week, I've found myself deep in the throws of one of the nation's largest Fringe Festivals. If you're not aware of what a Fringe Festival is, it could generally be described as a festival for theatre celebrating new and often brave work, that may not get produced in a normal theatre season. In other words-- FRINGE. I am performing in...


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HOPE IS DANGEROUS

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HOPE IS DANGEROUS By: Lauren Anderson It's dangerous to think that something I want very badly could actually be had, and that things will work out for the best and in my favor... and yet, I find myself doing it all the time. It's dangerous to look forward to something or someone with desire and reasonable confidence... and here I go doing it again. It's dangerous to let myself...


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