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I BROKE MY BUTT

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I BROKE MY BUTT By: Lauren Anderson Okay, so did my title get your attention? I'm not being hyperbolic I swear... Last Wednesday was a rainy day, and it's also my day to go to therapy. So that morning in the storm, I dashed to my car with my keys, water bottle, book and bumbershoot in hand. (Bumbershoot is fun word I just discovered that means UMBRELLA. I know...


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RED CARPET READY

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RED CARPET READY By: Lauren Anderson   Full disclosure: My nails are wet as I type this. I have an event to go to tonight, where I have to dress up a little. And there will be a red carpet, and I will likely be photographed. It will be fun, for sure. And it's to celebrate a dear friend's CD that he released for charity... But like any event where...


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"I CAN'T DO IT FOR YOU," SHE SAID.

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“I CAN'T DO IT FOR YOU,” SHE SAID. By: Lauren Anderson My sister is a very busy lady. Sometimes I only get to see her outside of a family event when I pop over. Meaning, I'll be in the area of her house with time to kill, and I'll text and be like, “You home?” And then I swing by. Usually before waiting for the answer. She does it...


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IN THE PRESENCE OF POWER

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IN THE PRESENCE OF POWER By: Lauren Anderson One of my favorite things to do when I'm near an ocean, or a canyon, or pretty much any expansive natural phenomenon-- is spread my arms and legs out and take up as much space as I possibly can. Then I open my eyes and look out and realize: I am the biggest I can be... and still so small....


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MASS APPEAL

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MASS APPEAL By: Lauren Anderson I'm kind of ashamed to admit this. But if I can't be honest with you dear reader, than what's the fricking point of this right? Okay, here goes. I used to play this game called “Mass Appeal”. There's a good chance I've even mentioned it before, so bear with me. I made it up with a buddy a while back when we worked a...


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THE PRODIGAL ATHLETE

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THE PRODIGAL ATHLETE By: Lauren Anderson   I recently commented on a friend's YouTube channel referencing an inside joke we had about the “Prodigal Son”. Mere moments of the comment living online and whamo! I got internet trolled by some self-proclaimed biblical parable “expert” white guy, telling me that I should “look up that story, cause I was referencing it wrong.” Or something like that. I laughed it off and...


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A HECKLER UPDATE

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A HECKLER UPDATE By: Lauren Anderson   For those of you reading this blog from the start, you may recall the post I wrote about being heckled onstage for being fat during a corporate improv show a few years ago. For those of you new to this: you can catch up here. https://solcanafitness.com/2016/08/week-39-heckled-and-doctor-jekylled/ I was only about 6 months into my time with Solcana, and everything was changing and I was...


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COMPASSION IS THE BIGGEST FLEX

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COMPASSION IS THE BIGGEST FLEX By: Lauren Anderson I found myself a little lost the other day in the U of M campus. Between the construction and the one-ways, and all the co-ed summer students getting from A to B, it's amazing that I ever made it out alive. I was stuck on one of those streets. You know, the ones by the old brick buildings that no...


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A NEANDERTHAL'S CRAVING

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A NEANDERTHAL'S CRAVING By: Lauren Anderson So, the other day I go to make myself a morning egg scramble. It's been a while since I've properly cooked a breakfast like this, summer being as busy as it has been. But I found myself with a few hours to spare, and I thought I would treat myself to something hearty, that I could take a long time to eat,...


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BREAK IT DOWN TO BUILD IT BETTER

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BREAK IT DOWN TO BUILD IT BETTER By: Lauren Anderson All summer long, I haven't been feeling very well physically. Not sick really, but not at peak Anderson to be sure. To tell you the truth, I can't quite place it. Some days I feel bloated, and some I feel hollow. But there is a general “weakness” element that I can't put my finger on. It feels weird...


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BICEPS AND BEER

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BICEPS AND BEER By: Lauren Anderson I struggled with celebrating the 4th of July last week like many Americans did. How do you celebrate a country that keeps children locked in cages, away from their families, in terrible conditions? We've been taught that America stands for the home of the free-- but our own government has imprisoned these youths unjustly. How do you celebrate a country that gets so...


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IF IT SERVES YOU, NOT IF IT'S SERVED

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IF IT SERVES YOU, NOT IF IT'S SERVED By: Lauren Anderson Last night I performed at a fundraising event for the Twin Cities Horror Festival. There was a spooky show taking on the seven deadly sins, a silent auction featuring any number of witchy and wonderful art pieces, and interactive events like getting your very own monster name, and your runes read. I had a wonderful time taking on...


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HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A THOUGHT

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HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A THOUGHT By: Lauren Anderson The other day I'm sitting in my dressing room at work, chatting with some friends before a show. (I am an actor, so think of it as my “office” except there are a lot of mirrors, and it's perfectly acceptable to take your clothes off... and put new ones back on.) I'm doing my best version of a Degrassi High teen,...


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MY PROBLEM WITH 'NO PROBLEM'

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MY PROBLEM WITH 'NO PROBLEM' By: Lauren Anderson   I do it. You do it. We all do it. We all use the phrase “No problem” all the time. And recently it's started to bug me a little. But why? WHY?!?!? Let me explain... I was getting my groceries at a fancy grocery store. I know I over pay there, but I stop anyway because it's close and they're open late. You know...


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RAGE CLEANING

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RAGE CLEANING By: Lauren Anderson Yeah. Okay. I'll admit it. Sometimes I get mad. Okay okay- you got me. It's not sometimes. It's a lot. I actually might have a bonafide “temper”. Like when something upsets me, the first place I go is anger. Once I wade through the anger, I can usually get to the heart of why I'm mad.... but it still takes a while. I don't necessarily...


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WALK AND TALK O'CLOCK

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WALK AND TALK O'CLOCK By: Lauren Anderson One of the things I'm learning, and I keep learning, is the that there are many avenues into loving your body. That there is no one “right” workout program, or way to eat, or even one correct path to forgive ourselves or our bodies. Because what feels good on one day, can feel like crap the next. What works for one,...


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AN EMBARRASSMENT OF GREEN

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AN EMBARRASSMENT OF GREEN By: Lauren Anderson Do you know the phrase “An embarrassment of riches”? I've always liked that saying, because it implies you have so much abundance it could potentially be embarrassing. What a thought! With scarcity a constant threat to our mindsets, it's almost unheard of to think of yourself as so rich that you should be embarrassed. Especially in our current society that puts so...


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THE HORSE AND THE PLASTIC CHAIR

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THE HORSE AND THE PLASTIC CHAIR. By: Lauren Anderson I used to be a manager at a Toy Store. I think I've talked about it before. (I think I told the story about the play vacuum? Anyways...) I was a good manager, if I do say so myself, and I LOVE TOYS. As far as retail goes, it was a fun job. And I believe in the power...


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THE DIAPHANEITY OF LIGHT

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THE DIAPHANEITY OF LIGHT By: Lauren Anderson Hey hey! It's that time of year again when I can't sleep! WOOHOO!!! I'm being sarcastic, of course. (I think you could probably glean that... but I know that sarcasm rarely translates to the written page, so here we are.) Ahem...ANYWAYS. I hate it when this happens to me. I'm not much of a sleep-seeker in my normal moments, but the insomnia that...


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A CROSSFIT-SIZED CAPER

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A CROSSFIT-SIZED CAPER By: Lauren Anderson Last week I went to the zoo with my buddy Matt and his two kids. It was a great time, and the moose was out in all her glory. And I don't know why I feel this way, but I always think when the moose is out, that's good luck. She likes to hide... We rode the carousel which is also a zoo...


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PASS THE JOINT...HEALTH

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PASS THE JOINT...HEALTH By:Lauren Anderson I was over at my Mom's house for dinner on Sunday. After dinner and dishes were done, we went outside to take her two dachshunds, Paco and Rosa, out for their nightly walk. They do their business, (like they do), and my mom starts talking to the dogs, in that VERY SPECIFIC excited way that adult humans who love their dogs talk to...


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ATOMS OR ORDER

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ATOMS OR ORDER By: Lauren Anderson So... yesterday I was walking downtown in the morning and there was construction by the building where I work. And not just regular construction--- I'm talking Warner Brothers cartoon-style jackhammering in the street. Men in hard hats shouting things and clacking pipes. That kinda noise. The typical sound of downtown Minneapolis mid-morning was replaced with a cacophony of bewailing concrete and clanging...


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3 A.M. GRATITUDE

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3 A.M. GRATITUDE By: Lauren Anderson It was my birthday last Sunday. People that know me, know that I love birthdays. I love yours, mine, the next door neighbor's kid, the guy at the gas station. I love em. I'm EXACTLY that annoying kid that tries their hardest to make it a “birthday month”. (I'm sorry if that makes me the worst, but it's true.) And yes, I know...


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THE EMPTY CLAY POT

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THE EMPTY CLAY POT By: Lauren Anderson I've never worked out so hard that it made me throw up. I mean, I've worked out so hard that I got a little dizzy. And a few times I did feel pretty nauseous. But here's the deal gang-- once I felt nauseous--I STOPPED. Don't get me wrong. I think sometimes it happens. You accidentally go over your limit, and BLUMP. Barf...


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THE SMALL MAGIC OF DOING LITTLE THINGS

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THE SMALL MAGIC OF DOING LITTLE THINGS By: Lauren Anderson A few years ago after my brother Kevin died, the family decided to dedicate a bench to him at the Minnesota Zoo. He loved animals, and they loved him. He just had a way with them. I come from a deeply animal-loving family. The zoo was something we did together and still do, even though we're all adults...


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THE GREAT LIQUIDATION

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THE GREAT LIQUIDATION By: Lauren Anderson Spring is my favorite time of year. Seriously. Say what you will about the delight of living in a place with a warm and predictable climate-- I don't begrudge anyone their joy. Especially those people out there who hate hate hate being cold. But that's not me. If given the choice, I want four seasons. Give me the abundance of summer, the nostalgia...


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"BE NOT AFRAID OF GOING SLOWLY"

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“BE NOT AFRAID OF GOING SLOWLY...” By: Lauren Anderson I woke up groggy this morning. Not sure why, but I was. As I lumbered out of bed into upright standing position, I stood there for a sec, wiping my face and not moving. Then the voice in my head started. “C'mon Anderson, let's go.” I've written about the voice in my head many times before, and thankfully this morning...


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GRABBING MY BUTT IN THE PARKING LOT

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GRABBING MY BUTT IN THE PARKING LOT By: Lauren Anderson Have I got your attention? Good. Except now that you're here I have to tell you... this isn't some story about a creep in a parking lot who grabbed my butt. Thank God. I am so grateful that's not the scenario today. Yes yes. No creep to be found. Because in the case of this parking-lot butt-grab? THE CREEP IS...


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HABITS AND CARPET LUMPS

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HABITS AND CARPET LUMPS By: Lauren Anderson A few months ago I got a new mattress. My sister and her girlfriend were champions and helped me move it into my apartment--because they're heroes like that. And just as we were snapping the blankets into military precision, (My sister was in the Air Force and I swear, the way she makes a bed is a thing of beauty.)...


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ALLEGORICAL GRAPEFRUIT

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ALLEGORICAL GRAPEFRUIT By: Lauren Anderson When I first started working out at Solcana, I did a food challenge to reset the inflammation in my body. If you've been following this blog from the jump, you probably remember a pretty steep learning curve. I learned so much about food, and nutrition, and even how to cook! I learned the great effect sugars had on my body. I don't think...


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