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THE HORSE AND THE PLASTIC CHAIR

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THE HORSE AND THE PLASTIC CHAIR. By: Lauren Anderson I used to be a manager at a Toy Store. I think I've talked about it before. (I think I told the story about the play vacuum? Anyways...) I was a good manager, if I do say so myself, and I LOVE TOYS. As far as retail goes, it was a fun job. And I believe in the power...


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THE DIAPHANEITY OF LIGHT

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THE DIAPHANEITY OF LIGHT By: Lauren Anderson Hey hey! It's that time of year again when I can't sleep! WOOHOO!!! I'm being sarcastic, of course. (I think you could probably glean that... but I know that sarcasm rarely translates to the written page, so here we are.) Ahem...ANYWAYS. I hate it when this happens to me. I'm not much of a sleep-seeker in my normal moments, but the insomnia that...


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A CROSSFIT-SIZED CAPER

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A CROSSFIT-SIZED CAPER By: Lauren Anderson Last week I went to the zoo with my buddy Matt and his two kids. It was a great time, and the moose was out in all her glory. And I don't know why I feel this way, but I always think when the moose is out, that's good luck. She likes to hide... We rode the carousel which is also a zoo...


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PASS THE JOINT...HEALTH

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PASS THE JOINT...HEALTH By:Lauren Anderson I was over at my Mom's house for dinner on Sunday. After dinner and dishes were done, we went outside to take her two dachshunds, Paco and Rosa, out for their nightly walk. They do their business, (like they do), and my mom starts talking to the dogs, in that VERY SPECIFIC excited way that adult humans who love their dogs talk to...


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ATOMS OR ORDER

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ATOMS OR ORDER By: Lauren Anderson So... yesterday I was walking downtown in the morning and there was construction by the building where I work. And not just regular construction--- I'm talking Warner Brothers cartoon-style jackhammering in the street. Men in hard hats shouting things and clacking pipes. That kinda noise. The typical sound of downtown Minneapolis mid-morning was replaced with a cacophony of bewailing concrete and clanging...


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3 A.M. GRATITUDE

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3 A.M. GRATITUDE By: Lauren Anderson It was my birthday last Sunday. People that know me, know that I love birthdays. I love yours, mine, the next door neighbor's kid, the guy at the gas station. I love em. I'm EXACTLY that annoying kid that tries their hardest to make it a “birthday month”. (I'm sorry if that makes me the worst, but it's true.) And yes, I know...


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THE EMPTY CLAY POT

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THE EMPTY CLAY POT By: Lauren Anderson I've never worked out so hard that it made me throw up. I mean, I've worked out so hard that I got a little dizzy. And a few times I did feel pretty nauseous. But here's the deal gang-- once I felt nauseous--I STOPPED. Don't get me wrong. I think sometimes it happens. You accidentally go over your limit, and BLUMP. Barf...


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THE SMALL MAGIC OF DOING LITTLE THINGS

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THE SMALL MAGIC OF DOING LITTLE THINGS By: Lauren Anderson A few years ago after my brother Kevin died, the family decided to dedicate a bench to him at the Minnesota Zoo. He loved animals, and they loved him. He just had a way with them. I come from a deeply animal-loving family. The zoo was something we did together and still do, even though we're all adults...


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THE GREAT LIQUIDATION

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THE GREAT LIQUIDATION By: Lauren Anderson Spring is my favorite time of year. Seriously. Say what you will about the delight of living in a place with a warm and predictable climate-- I don't begrudge anyone their joy. Especially those people out there who hate hate hate being cold. But that's not me. If given the choice, I want four seasons. Give me the abundance of summer, the nostalgia...


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"BE NOT AFRAID OF GOING SLOWLY"

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“BE NOT AFRAID OF GOING SLOWLY...” By: Lauren Anderson I woke up groggy this morning. Not sure why, but I was. As I lumbered out of bed into upright standing position, I stood there for a sec, wiping my face and not moving. Then the voice in my head started. “C'mon Anderson, let's go.” I've written about the voice in my head many times before, and thankfully this morning...


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GRABBING MY BUTT IN THE PARKING LOT

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GRABBING MY BUTT IN THE PARKING LOT By: Lauren Anderson Have I got your attention? Good. Except now that you're here I have to tell you... this isn't some story about a creep in a parking lot who grabbed my butt. Thank God. I am so grateful that's not the scenario today. Yes yes. No creep to be found. Because in the case of this parking-lot butt-grab? THE CREEP IS...


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HABITS AND CARPET LUMPS

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HABITS AND CARPET LUMPS By: Lauren Anderson A few months ago I got a new mattress. My sister and her girlfriend were champions and helped me move it into my apartment--because they're heroes like that. And just as we were snapping the blankets into military precision, (My sister was in the Air Force and I swear, the way she makes a bed is a thing of beauty.)...


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ALLEGORICAL GRAPEFRUIT

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ALLEGORICAL GRAPEFRUIT By: Lauren Anderson When I first started working out at Solcana, I did a food challenge to reset the inflammation in my body. If you've been following this blog from the jump, you probably remember a pretty steep learning curve. I learned so much about food, and nutrition, and even how to cook! I learned the great effect sugars had on my body. I don't think...


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FORBIDDEN LOVE (a love letter to my body)

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FORBIDDEN LOVE (A Love Letter To My Body) By: Lauren Anderson Dearest Body, I know it's been a while since we've spoken like this my love, but what better time to rekindle the flame than on St. Valentine's Day? Alas, life has kept me from spending more time with you than I wish. But fear not ma cherie, for my affection for you is stronger than ever. It...


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A CHANGE IN DENSITY

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A CHANGE IN DENSITY By: Lauren Anderson About a week ago, it occurred to me that it had been 3 months since I'd seen one of my closest friends. Months! How does that happen? Well I s'pose, life, school, work, being and adult, etc etc. All that boring stuff that gets in the way of having fun... sigh. After a few texts and some calendar checks, we managed...


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TAKING THE TIME IT TAKES

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TAKING THE TIME IT TAKES By: Lauren Anderson   When my grandpa and grandma passed away, I inherited all their watches. My grandparents were dapper to be sure, but also modest. These watches effectively had no value, but to me, they were priceless. Shortly after I acquired these treasures, I decided to have a fashion moment and wear them all on one wrist on one day. The effect was...


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IT'S THE CLIMB

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IT'S THE CLIMB By: Lauren Anderson For the past few days, I keep catching myself humming an old Miley Cyrus song from 2009. I know! I'm as surprised as you are. Cause honestly, I didn't even know that I had those lyrics rattling around in my head. I've never bought an album. But some stars are just ubiquitous I s'pose. I won't keep you guessing either--there's no big song...


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SOFT POTATO OR A HARD EGG

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SOFT POTATO OR A HARD EGG By: Lauren Anderson The summer between 3rd and 4th grade I signed up to do a weeklong dance camp with the Parkettes. The Parkettes were the high school dance team and I thought they were EVERYTHING. I was so excited. Not only would I get to learn real life dance moves from real life dancers, but I would also get a tee...


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COME AS YOU ARE

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COME AS YOU ARE By: Lauren Anderson When I was getting dressed on New Year's Eve night, I had some things to consider. I had a show to do that night, so I knew I had to be able to do improv in whatever I chose to wear. And then later on that night I would be going to a house party with a small (albeit wonderful) group...


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"ACTION IS THE ANTIDOTE TO DESPAIR"

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“ACTION IS THE ANTIDOTE TO DESPAIR” By: Lauren Anderson I was recently helping a dear friend move out of their house. The reason for the move was because of a divorce which resulted in a series of huge life changes. Luckily my friend had enlisted quite a few other friends to help, so we able to adopt the very efficient “BUCKET BRIGADE” system! It was genius, because everyone was...


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"The Space In Between" by Lauren Anderson

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Hi. Lauren here. You know, once in a while, there are some rare mornings when I wake up, without being prompted by my over-active bladder. I lie there nestled in my bed, and realize I am awake just moments before my alarm starts its round of annoying beeps and boops. And on these rare mornings, I am not bothered by the loss of those precious few...


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THE CALMING NEON ORANGE ROPE

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THE CALMING NEON ORANGE ROPE By: Lauren Anderson When I was little, my parents brought us to Paul Bunyan Land in Northern Minnesota. We rode rides and watched dancing chickens and got our pictures taken with Paul Bunyan and Babe the Big Blue Ox. Pretty much having the greatest time a kid could have at a kitschy Minnesotan theme park. And just when I thought the day couldn't...


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SCREAMING FOR ICE IN MY VEINS

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SCREAMING FOR ICE IN MY VEINS By: Lauren Anderson There's this line in Paul Simon's song “You Can Call Me Al” that has always really resonated with me. The iconic 80's pop classic starts out with Paul Simon almost pleading to the universe: “Why am I soft in the middle when the rest of my life is so hard?” Not only do I love the song and what it...


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THANK YOU AND SHUT UP ABOUT MY FOOD

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THANK YOU AND SHUT UP ABOUT MY FOOD By: Lauren Anderson HOMECOMING Thanksgiving is two days away, which means all my out-of-town friends are rolling back in. I love this time of year for that reason! But before they get swallowed up in the family and the holidays, I like to squeak out a little friend time first if I can. I get a text from my dear...


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REMOVING THE WORD 'JUST'

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REMOVING THE WORD “JUST” By: Lauren Anderson The other day, I was at my good friend Ann's house hanging out and having a wonderful Sunday. I had a text I needed to reply to, and I wanted my response to sound good, so I showed her the draft before I hit send. You know, like you do sometimes with friends. Most of the time I pride myself on...


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SUPER VISION REQUIRED

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SUPER VISION REQUIRED By: Lauren Anderson A few years ago, I was staying at a nice hotel while on a business trip. I had a few hours to kill before our clients needed us to be in the ballroom to get the kick off party started, so I decided to walk around the campus of the luxury Florida hotel. I like to get the lay of the land you...


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NIGHTMARE ON MY STREET

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NIGHTMARE ON MY STREET By: Lauren Anderson Forgive me if I sound a little different today, but my entire reality has been altered, and I don't know what's what anymore. You know, no bigs. Also, I miiiight sound different because I just had 1,000 birds of prey fly outta my mouth. Oop! And almost forgot! I've been running for my life down dark alleyways for the past three nights. “What's...


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TOO MUCH VERSUS NOT ENOUGH

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TOO MUCH VERSUS NOT ENOUGH By: Lauren Anderson About a month or so ago I was at the gym, and we were working on back squats. I don't know if it was the day or what, but it was one of those workouts where I was just happy I made it there at all. I found myself really taking it kinda easy. It felt good to be there...


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YOU CAN'T RUSH A BUTTERFLY OR A BEAUTIFUL DEATH

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YOU CAN'T RUSH A BUTTERFLY OR A BEAUTIFUL DEATH By: Lauren Anderson Last week my grandmother passed away. And yesterday was her funeral. The day was as hard as you can imagine, but then the sun came out. And I couldn't help but think, “This is a beautiful day. Grandma would've liked this.” The family was sad, and we will miss her dearly, but it also felt so...


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DRY RICE ON THE FLOOR

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DRY RICE ON THE FLOOR By: Lauren Anderson My older sister is an excellent driver. She was that classic teenager that went and took her driving test on her 16th birthday and passed on the first try. And it didn't take long before she had her own car, much to our mom's trepidation. There was no, “Can I borrow the car?” from my sister. Oh no no. Besides, my...


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